Byline
Jay Knowles
@thewordplayer
Bio
I would greatly appreciate it if you would please pretend I proposed, proffered and presented a proverb so pretty, precise and profound that it has probably been proven worthy of precious praise in its previous place, politely, no pressure.
Lifetime
Lines
201
Awards
Earned
19
Member
Since
'22
Awards
Jay's Stories
Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone: Part IVoid
Until, well, the studio audience fell down. So did the host. And the floor, and then it was over. Where was I? A sign was in front of me, that was for sure. “Welcome to the Void. Terrible name, I know, considering you are in a room right now. I’m just the copy editor!”
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One Pizza at a Time
They say that hell is other people, which turns out to be literal given the number of people I see below. You can’t see the ground in this valley of Hell because of all the people in it. I sigh and begin hiking down the slope.
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Fly to Die for a Fond MEPhone: Part III
When we answered that call, we were in this place with a phone named Meadow. She was the phone upriaimfdjslaOhjJn8/7– Booting MeadowOS.….
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The Challenge of Love
"Any man who wants to court me," said Anežka Szabová, "must 1st brush the teeth of Golgoraz the three-headed, nineteen-eyed, seven-tailed, triple-stomached, poison-breathing dragon of the Great Rozsutec Mountain." Martin Balog grabbed a toothbrush & toothpaste & said, "I'm game."
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Death and Tartar
It's not fair, it's not fair! Why did it have to be him? Sweat droplets come from off my face as I raise my hand, I'll take my friend's spot. The grin off of Deo's face resonates pure evil. "Very well, Geovoni your saved... for now" Geo looks at me in horror as the guards pick me
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Mark n’ Tony
I’m Mark Hamill, but you can call me Dr. Hamill. That Star Wars character? Not related. Welcome to my office. Every patient in here has a unique story, and I reply to each and every one of them with “Interesting”. Let’s start our therapy session, shall we?
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Joey Pepperoni and The Conspiracy of Pizza Ninjas
Joe puts a pizza into the oven, and he has a gun (I don't know why). It was this really cool gun that could shoot five hundred rounds with only a few! Truly a technological marvel to be wielded, and by such a simple man! We mortals can only imagine the kind of power he possesses!
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This one got grim
"Why am I here?" I thought, walking through the old "haunted" house at the end of the neighborhood. The last time I was here I was only a small lad, no older than 7, so why am I feeling an urge to suddenly come here to investigate this place again? Were the ghosts taking me here?
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Jack vs. Cletus
Jack grab snacks from movie Theater stand. Jack hear woman at stand and look up see worker give him popcorn and movie Ticket. Unknown stranger woman look at him not blank or take eyes off him. When man turn around to her Direction she disappear. Jack want in movie theater.
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Hot Diggity
I stared intently at the hot dog as it fell and flopped lifelessly onto the pavement in front of me. With the power of the fall from my hand it propelled itself onto the road, where a speeding Honda Civic promptly ran over it and turned it into mush. What a horrible morning.
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Earworms
"And your wish?" the genie asked Brian. "Well," Brian mused, "there is something." "No!" Colleen cried, "Don't do it, Brian!" but he ignored her. "I wish," he said, "that every time I got a song stuck in my head everyone else in the world also got that song stuck in their heads."
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Roe vs James
There comes a time in every father's life when he has to answer a certain uncomfortable question from his son. It happened to me today. My boy James & I were playing catch in the backyard. It was the first nice day of spring. "Dad," he asks, "what does caviar taste like?"
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Thank Your Lucky Stars
The lone robot sat on a large iron plate. Or he would have, if there was any gravity to be able to sit, so it more like held onto it. They floated around, slowly, and the lights of the cosmos reflected off its big, glassy eyes. It smiled. It was happy. It's life here was simple.
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The Old Dog's New Tricks
Toni's dog Goober only obeyed one command: dig! So, Toni told it to dig anytime and anywhere just to show how obedient the dog could be. One day Goober dug too far.
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Harbinger of Saltines
"So here’s the thing," says the crow, "if you’ve never heard of me, hear me now. I’m your least expected fortune teller. I’m the one that brings death and despair. Yield to me, so I shall spare you from your doomed fate." "Foolish," says the human.
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Ladies Can Make Dad Jokes Too
The blade was inches away from her nose. She stared at it, in horror. How did she end up in this mess? And what to do to get out of it?
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Sitcom Gorgon
The strange, sandy whirlwind stayed above their heads. Some kind of a cavern was hidden under the big hot desert. How come the sand didn't get in here? Anyway - now they needed a light source to see much further than their noses. What was this place? Did it form naturally?
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A Hot Slice of Heartbreak: Part II
She was scared to death. Nobody has ever talked to her like that.
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Mine
This mailbox is mine, and this triagonal sign, that blue balloon, the month of June, they’re mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
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Gopher It
Something strange was going on. It looked like something was moving under the dirt, close enough to the surface that it pushed a trail of it above as it went forward. People looked at it, puzzled and a bit alerted. A kid pointed at it but the mom grabbed the kid's hand and fled.
Icy slide of doom
The icy slide was wild! The surface beneath was so smooth I didn't feel any bumps as I slid faster and faster down the hill. The way was clear but the chute was formed in a way that I didn't see that far, what was to come. In these speeds bumping against anything would be fatal.
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Ensuing Unsueing
“It’s been a tough year.” Sue sighed. “A tough few years, honestly. I don’t see it getting better soon, either.” Her friend, standing awkwardly, didn’t know what to say. She patted Sue on top of her head, 3 times. Sue looked up, fire in her eyes.
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What manner of beastie?
A majestic beast stands on its strong legs in a distance. Should it get too close it can easily rip limbs off any living things. It sways its huge head in the wind and looks around. It almost looks like it's sniffing the air. Should it be ogled at, or evaded, or advanced towards?
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Beats, Crimes, and Strife
Yessir and yes m’am. What you see is what you get. 3 bassists, a tuba player, a dulcimer, 5 triangles, a bass tambourine, an alto tambourine, and a Roland 808 drum machine. This is our band, and we rock the house. We call ourselves
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Booster Blues
Even though all of you on earth call it a station, those of us who live aboard call it a ship, and therefore a she. Sadly, her orbit is decaying. Her correction thrusters are offline. If we can’t fix her, she will fall to earth in 3 months.
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Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Tear in the Fabric of Spacetime
There was something moving in the bush. It made a silent rattle but it was loud enough for the guards to hear. Both of them looked suspiciously at it but they couldn't see anything due to the night's darkness. The other bashed his spear against his shield but the noise persisted.
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Stay Buzzy
He walked towards a small platform. There was a stand and a nice gift that was promised for him. The stony floor was cold under his bare feet and the enormous room looked so empty otherwise. He stopped at the stand and looked at the steel wings. They looked...elegant, magnificent
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Brian's Song
Sleepy & hungover at a screaming child's birthday party, wearing a raggedy Pluto the Dog costume that smelled of sweat and, strangely, Little Debbie snack cakes, Brian Leggaro wondered to himself, "How did it come to this?"
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Again We Begin
Alexandria Marie Johnson was murdered on July 23 1993-at least that was what the newspaper said. She was 16. We were neighbors. I was the one who called the police. On July 23, 1994 I walked into my room and found Alexandria alive, standing by a window. Today is July 23, 1994.
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The Trail to True Treasure
The tower looks very tall and mysterious under the evening sun. The perimeter is empty and rocky and the wind blows dust around. Nobody knows what's inside...or who's inside. Is this going to be an opportunity, an adventure or just a false call of gluttony, leading to only death?
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