Finally A Man

It was a shameful thing. A foul, disgusting, inhumane thing. Even so, the more I looked at it the more my eyes morphed it into something normal. How strange. It was like...

witnessing a car crash. It’s all horrible and bloody but you just can’t look away from it no matter how hard you try. Puberty truly hits like a truck. And to think I was once disgusted by it as a child! I sat there, mouth wide open, mesmerised by what I was seeing.

Hair sprouted from my armpits like a sped-up video of grass growing. My legs, too, cultivated a healthy crop of hair. My body flooded with chemicals & my brain reeled at the flux of emotions I had over the course of mere minutes—happy, gloomy, randy, lonely, hyper. I felt it all.

Oh no. Puberty hit me, and not just lightly, more like a full speed train on the Japanese underground. I suddenly felt the urge to dance in public and post it on TikTok. Thus, I put on my shorts, despite it being December, and started walking towards the mall.

"...What did I just do?!" All over the city I saw people watching the video of me dancing. In the mall. With shorts halfway up my thighs like a 90's jogger. In front of a lingerie exhibit. My face flushed red, purple, blue, before paling back to white as the realization hit me:

I looked amazing. Seriously, I could have been a backup dancer from Prince, or Pat Benatar, or ever Big Daddy Kane. Furious Footwork is my specialty!

It was all thanks to my dance instructor. See, he had a rather unusual way of teaching. Every morning he would whip out his revolver and fill the floor with lead. “Dance, boy, dance!” My feet moved on their own, as if by magic. Couldn’t have done it without him.