Pyramid Scream

The old lady struggled to open the heavy glass door to the doctors office, a little boy flew past her making her lose her footing almost falling.

The little boy tipped his hat and apologised but that wasn't enough, the lady leaped at the boy and clobbered him into a paste in a nerve decision. The doctor watched helplessly, knowing that he must preserve his body from any fights because of his wife's plans that night...

which involved assaulting a child. The lady looked a lot like his wife, too. “Hedwig? Is that you?”, he asked, “Are we caught in a time loop? Also, leave that kid alone!”

"No way!" said Hedwig as she grabbed the kid. "I need this kid for my MLM scam!" The dude simply stared at her, shocked. "But...you...you're Hedwig, my wife, right? No way you are doing MLM scams! That's not the Hedwig I know!" Her eyes widened. "What? Who the heck are you?"

Who the heck was I? I looked at the words my grandma'd needlepointed & framed on the living room wall. "Know thyself," her words read. A face in a nearby mirror stared hideously back at me. Did I need Avon? MaryKay? Maybe joining an MLM would help me find myself. Hello—Herbalife?