How the best pretzels are made

As I arrived at the cold empty bar, with the only thing alive is the drunkard as the piano bar, I sat next to drown my sorrows, but then the door bell rang.

A door appeared. “I just got here!” George yelled at the ceiling. “Why did you ring the bell so soon? I didn’t even get to taste my beer!” “Participant D541, please move on,” a robotic voice floated down. George chugged the beer, slammed the mug down, and darted for the door.

A monotone voice from the back of the room said “these pretzels are salty”. They had said that line about 1500 times over the course of the experiment, with no idea why.

But they weren't that salty. Whoever this was, they were deluded - and yet upon observation, the fool was revealed to be the Burger King. Clearly his kingship did not extend to pretzels. He was ejected from the experiment for lacking taste.

After kicking the Burger King’s ass and wiping the floor with Ronald McDonald’s, Auntie Ann emerged victorious. The pretzel queen. Soft. Salty enough. Warm. Buttery. Delicious. Let all ye who dare come for the Auntie, remember the pretzels that killed fast food royalty.