Spawn

Bob enjoyed his career drawing adult cartoons, until a talking fish changed his life.

Naturally he din’t believe this was happening to him. But it was undeniable a golden fish name Bilbo had requested his aid

The fish asked him to set him up on a date! He was bad enough at getting dates for himself, but he supposed there was no harm checking on Plenty of Fish.

Plenty of Fish was full of boring fish who couldn’t hold a conversation. The fish decided for quality over quantity and search relentlessly for someone with specific characteristics.

Alas, fish conversations tended to revolve around water temperature, seaweed, and laying giant piles of eggs, and so the search for a quality partner—thoughtful, intelligent, humorous—dragged on as the poor fish neared the end of their natural lifespans.

As they swam upstream, one chatty fish suggested they launch an app to replace this seasonal struggle. They’d call it Spawn. In a few fin-swipes right, a fish could make a match, fertilize or be fertilized, and get back to the sea before the wranglers block their swim lanes.

The idea was a hit. “Brilliant!” “Let’s do it!” Everyone had a suggestion. Too many in fact to keep up with. “Is anyone writing these down?” The current grew stronger. Shadows loomed ahead. Dating apps would have to wait. The bears waited.

Their hunger grew with fearsome rumbles and terrific roaring, until finally it broke free. "No, it's not time yet! If you go now, you're going to scare them all away!" The fish, ignored in his attempts to convince them, resumed his solitude. "Oh well, it was a good idea."