A Culture Shock of Sorts

Once there was a handsome man named Link. He is known as the hero of time and was reborn a million times in a different body but still looked nearly identical. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is white skinned. One morning Link woke up in the 2000’s to someone calling to him

It was a little, pot-bellied imp in a tight leather onesie. "Oh, boy," said the hero. "Are you going to make me a wolf? I thought Amaterasu did it better." The tubby gremlin looked at him. "What are you talking about?" she said, "I'm here to pick up a mushroom & garlic pizza."

Before I could say anything, a plump fairy with thick glasses flew up to us, pizza in hand. “That’ll be 11.50,” said the fairy. Without a word, the imp handed over the cash, and

snatched the pizza out of her hands. “You’re not getting any!” the imp exclaimed at me. I paused for a moment, looking from the fairy to the imp, considering the bizarre situation. The fairy shrugged before vanishing. The imp opened the box and I was very glad we weren’t sharing.

“Yo! Oh no you didn’t.” I exclaimed. “ I know you’re from the underworld and all, but this is Brooklyn. You DO NOT grab a person’s slice right out of their hand! No!”

“Yes, and it’s perfectly fine in my culture to steal another person’s slice. Your point?” The demon grinned, munching on his pizza. Guess he got me there. What also got me was a sudden jolt as I bumped into a taxi cab. “Hey, I’m walking here!” I yelled in a true New York fashion.

Being in The Big Apple was an unexpected culture shock, to say the least. I felt more and more like Will Ferrell in the 2003 hit movie "Elf" with every passing moment, but I was doing my best to emulate the New Yorkers around me. "Go Yankees!" I called out assertively. Bad move.

A few people start to stare, laughing. After a moment their expressions began to stiffen. It was then that I realized… I wasn’t wearing any pants.

I guess it wasn’t too indecent really. Quite liberating even. That’s right, keep it going brain! Stacey, my therapist, had encouraged practicing more optimism, I bet she would be proud to see me now. I was leaps and strides above where I left off last week. That was until

Dr Hamill walked in through the door. A Jedi turned renowned psychologist, Mark Hamill fervently disagreed with Stacey. He seemed to have the power of truth on his side and refuted her claims with great conviction. I was ready to walk the path of the Jedi and it wouldn’t be easy.