Death and Tartar: Part II

"How do I return to life?" I asked the angel. "There is no way," the angel told me, "you should just live your life in happy bliss as you are expected to." Suddenly, I saw Geovani, prince of the Ta-Ta Tartar Sauce empire, walk towards me. "They have endless tartar sauce here!"

Well, that changed everything. "Endless tar-tar sauce?" Immediately I baked up some fish sticks & fries to dunk. After gorging myself at the Tar-Tar River for three days, I began to wonder if the sauce was truly endless. Thus began my journey to find the Source of the Sauce.

I climbed mountains, crossed fields of poisonous corn, and swam through rivers of stuff that was definitely not tartar sauce on my search for the Source of the Sauce. But I knew each step was worth it, for I was getting closer to knowing if I truly had endless tartar sauce.

I knew there were two enemies prowling behind me: ketchup and mustard. They were large, round brutes, but with the right force, they’d shatter like glass, and I relished the challenge.

I kneeled down, faking my back was hurting. Then I lay down in the floor with my tongue out. Checking the floor temperature. Waited for a moment enjoying the moment. Then I started screaming very loud something about ducks. Mustard and Ketchup were clueless.

Then it began: my skin, too tight, began to crack and peel away. I had grown too large for it. Soon I would shed it, and appear in my fully adult form, scales shiny and beautiful.

I couldn't wait. Soon the big day arrived… but when my skin peeled away I was met with fur instead of scales. FUR. I was so depressed that I listened to Disintegration over 27 times in a row. It would've been more but my tape wore out and broke. I’ve yet to replace it. Fur. Sigh.