Hollywood

Her boyfriend knew she was pregnant. He was gonna say something to her today. She got home and her boyfriend was sitting there. He said

“Golly gee, I looked everywhere but I can’t seem to find the milk for my cereal? Do you know how bad that is? It’s a real emergency!” His girlfriend, whom he got pregnant, looked at him with utter disbelief. “Well, use mine then!” He was about to complete the “dump” part when she

let loose a blood curdling scream. He stepped back, shocked. She whispered “put the bowl down, get your jacket, and leave this house now. You are not welcome back until you learn to behave like a human being.”

Huffing, I promptly did as told and exited the house. How dare they not appreciate my howler monkey impression, the one that I'd spent so many nights practicing in my bathroom mirror. My neighbors sure seem to love it, howling right back at me most evenings.

I'd only walked half a block before a man in a yellow hat approached me. "Excuse me, sir," he said, "but was that your howler monkey impression I heard earlier?" I said it was. "I'm Eli Cola, record producer," he said. "We have a very particular clientele & can use your talents."

“I’m sorry Mr. Cola, but I must decline. I’ve had enough run-ins with Hollywood to know that nothing good ever comes out of these things. I do hope you find what you’re looking for.” Eli sighed. “I don’t suppose there’s anything I can do to convince you at all?” I shook my head.