Goat Bytes

Moses picked up the newspaper and sighed. “Man steals prize-winning goat, makes millions at county fair.” How could I have let this happen? he thought.

All my life, I have been the one who speaks for the goats. I protect them and defend their rights. Yet this high profile goat-napping happened practically in my back yard, without a tingle of warning. Am I losing my Billy-sense?

In hindsight, I realize that I probably should’ve given him a different name. Naming him William was only setting him up for a life as a true billy goat. But what’s the point of living when your destiny has already been decided? Should’ve named him something simple, like Dale.

So here is William, what should I do with him? Let me program him to get the prize. 'William = find(previous_line==prize); if length(William) == 1 (enter) William = William+1; (enter) end'. Run. William becomes 2 now.

And then? And then? There was no "and then". I knocked my glass of Wild Cherry Pepsi onto the laptop. It fizzled and sparked and the screen went black. William was gone. Still, I just can't throw the broken computer out. Every time I have some chèvre on toast, I hear it bleating.