Coconut Shrimp Helper

Its over. It was all over.

Watching the plate of pasta catapult towards our waiter, Alfredo sauce splattering all over his apron and my brand new suit, I realized that my chance at a successful proposal was over. The idea of a romantic candlelit dinner and popping the question was no more. What do I do?

There was only one thing to do. I stood up on my chair and yelled “FOOOOOD FIGHT!” Then I hurled a coconut shrimp plate at the table next to us, and poured my drink on a passing busboy.

The busboy gave me a slap across the face. "Sir, with all due respect, we are currently feeding starving children in Africa. Please think twice before wasting food." The children looked at me like I was mad. The concept of wasting food was foreign to them.

“My bad, I’ll make sure to finish my food.” Momma was proud she raised a good boy. “And you make sure them African kids get none of ya food!” Pardon my mother, she was raised during the Potato Famine.

Considering the Potato Famine happened 177 years ago, she looks pretty spry don't you think? Her secret? That's been passed via a select line of Secret Keepers. I alone chose who will receive it next. Are you ready? Are you sure? Come closer. Let me whisper it to you. It's hooch.