Jungle Balls

There is just one question I can’t help but ask: What, oh what, is the purpose of the Christmas tree emoji? Why would I get it, it’s just not clear to me. What does that even mean at all? And why is this Christmas tree so tall?

It's not like I couldn't just type Christmas tree. That would actually be easier than searching through lists of emojis for a symbol in it's place. And to use it to decorate a text seems childish and inane. Just get rid of it.

On the other hand, there is a certain charm to that decorated tree emoji. It conveys a childlike wonder that doesn’t quite come through in the word “Christmas”. Maybe I have judged too harshly?

Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, why must you stalk me hauntingly? Amazingly, the Christmas tree, could be the most used emoji. I wonder why, it’s hard to see, this little tree’s just not for me. Oh Christmas tree, the symphony, the melody and harmony!

Jingle bells, jungle smells, leopards ate my face. I had no fear that they'd be here, but now they stalk my place. Hey! Jungle smells, tortoise shells, monkeys flinging poo. Some sharks have come to drink chum rum with their sea monster crew.

"Thank you for this... 'special' rendition of "Jingle Bells". Unfortunately, you do not have what it takes to compete in this year's show,. Please make your way back to the green room," stated Gretchen. I was screwed.