Brine Hard: Nancy v. aliens

Nancy doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. Why would she? Every refusal she’s ever encountered in life could be overturned by persuasion, flattery, or distribution of a very small fragment of her family’s money.

But after the aliens arrived, Nancy could no longer count on flattery, bribery, or persuasion to get her way.

She'd have to rely on her old network and her abilities as the world's deadliest clown assassin. She knew the shoes still fit, but she hadn't put on the jumpsuit in years.

She reached deep into the back of her closet, beyond her jet-powered unicycle and rainbow wig collection, and found the box labeled “poison-squirting lapel flowers.”

“Finally!” she shouted. “My collection of vintage Joker lapel flowers will be of great use against the alien invaders.” She took the box of lapel flowers and began to fill the reservoirs with salt water.

Despite her thirst she knew drinking this water was a death sentence. Besides right now it was more useful as a weapon. Like alligators, these aliens could not stand saltwater. “Time to salinity-ize these alien chowder heads,” she said with a sense of triumph.

She whipped her hair over her shoulder and pulled out her supersonic, ultra high speed water submachine gun. These alligators weren’t ready for what she had planned for them. But they were about to bear witness to it anyway.

The hydro rifle hummed and vibrated. A halo of mist ringed the end of the barrel. Screams followed. Water was not their only weakness. Salt amplified the effect. The result was deadly. It was over in a matter of seconds. She had stopped them. This time.