I never thought this day would come...a strange disease has spread throughout the entire world. People is being held in quarantine facilities to avoid exposure. Food and water are limited, even toilet paper, who would thought of that!
It turned out I was happier without facebook. I traded my smartphone in for a flip phone. I traded my playstation in for some board games. I started going outside. I joined a volleyball league and took a cooking class. I grew a mustache and started saying "groovy" all the time.
Little did I know, that this was because I'd contracted a severe case of Oldtimidus. I was quarantined with my flip phone and boardgames for a month while I died a slow, painful and lonely death. Don't let the same happen to you! Embrace this generation and its amenities!
I paged the beeper of my old pal Bert. When he pulled up in his Dodge Stratus I knew that stepping into his car meant leaving behind contemporary culture and going whole hog on the past. I looked at Bert’s pine-scented air freshener with great comfort and opened the door.