Decorative Gourd Seasoning

“Ladies and gentlemen, I have some great news! Today, here in Cheesequake, NJ, in this famous garden, I saw it happen. The orange gourd saw it’s own shadow. This means that Pumpkin Spice Season has begun! Huzzah!”

The crowd yapped in hoos and haws, but the moment those cheers dissipated, there emerged an objection to the fall season. Billy, the resident hobo, shouted by his checkered beard, "But 'twas not the orange gourd's shadow! Neigh." Now he held the whole towns' gaze.

“Gasp, a talking horse!” “No, that’s just a homeless man covered in dirt! What’s silly Billy doing here?” Billy walked up to the raised platform, “Art thou mad, mayor? Were thee to celebrate All Hallows’ Eve afore the orange gourd casteth its shadow, a curse shall befall us all!”

"Curses-shmurses," the mayor drawled, & that was the end of the press conference. But evil would not be stopped by cynical rhymes. Late at night, the pixies & pukwudgies were hard at work, planning the village's downfall. As morning dawned, a curious scent drifted on the wind.

It was the smell of autumn-spent leaves, cloves and apple cider. The villagers ran to find its source. The muffins lay on a table with a note of thanks. They each ate one, delighting in its flavors. Then promptly ran to the toilet where they spent the rest of the season.