Cats and Dogs Raining Together

The vacation rental was small, just a one-bedroom cottage in a semi-shabby urban neighborhood, but it was renovated and even had a new roof. “All metal,” the owner told them upon check-in. “Energy efficient. Plus it makes the rain sound cool.” Which it did, but it also kept Becca

awake on a particularly stressful night. What is it with people's obsessions with standing seam roofs? It was all Becca could think about to take her mind off the fight she'd just had with her best friend. You think you know someone! She was almost asleep when the door bust open.

Her best friend stumbled in. Her hair was a mess and her clothes in shambles. She looked like she tried to fight a tornado. Becca jumped up out of bed and rushed over to her. “What the hell happened?” she asked.

It’s literally raining cats and dogs out there. First I got knocked over by a calico cat! I got hit by a pack falling schnauzers who barked at a calico in German. Then more cats. A siamese literally cussed me out in Chinese.

“Wait, wouldn’t a Siamese cat speak Thai?”I said. “Whoever arranged this talking feline canine storm needs a fact-checker, and I am just the person for the job!” I pulled out red and blue pencils, ready to correct.

I was about to start marking things up when one of the cats raised its paw and said to me, in a convincing British accent, “good sir, be a dear and make me some milk.” What I didn’t realize is that this was all part of a complex mind manipulation plot called ‘scheme milk.’

"M-make you milk?" I stammered. I shyly covered my chest. "I'm not sure my milk-making parts are functioning right now." The cat rolled its eyes, then frowned. "Sir, I said, 'Make me some milk.' " I nodded, hypnotized. "Of course, cat," I agreed despite my best efforts to not.

Right then, my sister burst into the room and slapped me in the face. "What- achoo- in the world -achoo- are you doing!" she screeched, kicking the cat to the side while sneezing. "First, have- achoo- some decency! Also, -achoo- I told you I'm -achoo- allergic! A-CHOO!" Blood dri

I started to get red splotches all over my face. "I told you I am allergic," I said. "Sorry," said my sister.