Bucky’s Reign

Bucky loved trees, like all beavers. Unlike most beavers, he loved trees best when they were alive and growing. Bucky desperately wanted to find a way to build a damn without killing any trees.

So he packed his handkerchief with a stun gun for protection, a thick toothpick to nibble on to keep his teeth in maintenance, and a badass tail-propeller for fast runaways. Finally, Bucky took to the waters and swam upstream, where he heard the humans were making a dam.

He swam near, carefully enough not to be seen. He took the stun gun and silently took one of the humans, knocking him out with one shot. Bucky used his teeth to make a hole in the logs and built a temporary fort. “This dam is now mine you fools”

Bucky surveyed his kingdom. Majestic. He sat atop an intricate waterfall comprised of dams. Who did these humans think they were? Leaving the safety of their civilized bubble to torment his brethren. And during Beaver Fever of all weeks! “Bring me your sacrifice,” Bucky demanded.

The larger hairy human stepped up. “Here you go Sir” he said politely, and placed two garbage bags filled with spoiled fish on the altar. Bucky was pleased. As everyone knows, spoiled fish are the way to a beavers heart. All seemed well until a loud noise interupted the ceremony.

All heads turned to see Bertha, Bucky’s wife, blushing with embarrassment. “I’m sorry!” she whispered. She looked lovingly at Bucky. “It’s just that...pregnancy makes me gassy!” Bucky’s mouth dropped open. “Hope you’ll share that fish. I’m eating for 5!” she said as all rejoiced!