The Flight to Tulsa, FL

We make our own fate. We go around blaming others, or God, for our mistakes, but that’s because we can’t admit that everything happens to us because of consequences of our decisions. Until that day I cracked open that unfortunate fortune cookie and read what my fate had in store.

“You Will Run a Successful Sporting Goods Store in Tulsa.” It hit me like a country song at 2am. How could it be so specific? But there was no running from this. I immediately booked a flight to Florida.

I was asleep when we touched down in Orlando. I tried my best to forget but the moment I opened my eyes it all came flooding back. I took the card out of my shirt pocket and read it again to make sure I wasn't dreaming. By the time I got up I was the last one on the plane.

...Or was I? It started with a subtle hiss, you could easily confuse with grumblings of the A/C. As I got up to get off, the noise became deafening as I was being surrounded by a cacophony of rattling and hissing. It wasn't just me...there were 1000s of snakes on that plane.

“Think!” I thought, “How did Sam Jackson get those m’f’n snakes off the m’f’n plane?” But try as I might, I couldn’t remember any relevant plot details. I slapped myself in the face and said “Look alive!” I checked under my seat, and sure enough, there was an emergency parachute.

I grabbed the bright orange pack and bolted toward the cockpit. Facing down two cobras, each guarding one side of the aisle, I yanked the cord, sending even more snakes into the air. With my last bit of strength I tumbled out the side exit and into the arms of Orlando’s finest.