The Axe Conspiracy

Kim rolled over and snoozed her alarm, even though she knew there was no getting back to sleep. As the comfort of dreams wore off and the reality of her hellish life came flooding back, she bit back tears and tried to focus on the moment. She needed to be at 100% today.

Forcing herself through her routine (shivering in her underwear in the cold kitchen preparing coffee, laying clothes out on the bed, not thinking about him, turning off the AC, unplugging her phone, toothpaste and toothbrush from the cabinet) she made it as far as the shower.

The shower was full of his things. Namely every product Axe makes, in every obnoxious scent. She grabbed a big black plastic bag and swept all his dudesoaps and manditioners into it, to be thrown in the dumpster.

Unfortunately, she had no idea that Axe was actually a secret developer of scent weapons and all their products were ingredients of their finalized product for the government. So once all the dudesaps and manditioners were crushed in the dumpster, a new genocide started occuring.

It was a genocide of the English language - no word was safe from the carnage.

Not even the urban dictionary was safe. It was if we were purposely thrown back into the days of grunts, ugh's, ooh's and ah's. I've seen this before in a movie somewhere called "Idiocracy". Gibberish is the new and politically correct was a crime.