Eau de Toilette

Deep in the bayou lived an old man and his grandson. The pair typically kept to themselves and tonight was no exception. Just after dusk, as the first fireflies began to light up the purple sky, Grandpa Mac heard a rapping at the door.

“Leonard! I’m home,” said Elaine. Color drained from his face as he looked at this son. His wife had been dead for years and today was the anniversary of the day she tested her underwater breathing apparatus. That invention haunted them for years, and so it appears, has Elaine.

The death was front page news, and readers may recall a color portrait of Elaine: a smiling, middle aged, suntanned scuba-diving enthusiast decked out in her gear on a Caribbean beach. The apparition Leonard saw looked the same, but colorless. And now she wasn’t smiling.

Leonard was disturbed but not surprised. He was often visited by spirits in the summer months. Usually wordless, rarely violent encounters. He walked toward the frowning figure.

Leonard became enveloped in the warm swamp wisps as he approached the mysterious figure. The being peered at Leonard through yellow eyes, floating ever so slightly above the ground.

The hairs on his arms stood up, and face felt a warm glow the closer he came. “Sweet Leonard” the creature said, her yellow eyes glowing brighter, “I’ve come back with a single question. Why did you never put the toilet seat down? Also tell our son I said hello”.

The toilet seat had long been their point of contention. To banish his wife's spirit, it was clear what had to be done. Leonard looked lovingly into her eyes, then walked slowly into the bathroom. With a struggle he dislodged the toilet from the floor. She smiled, and left.