Michael Stiehl

Rachel Drew

Benjamin Chandler

Sean King

Devin Johnson

Sam Becker

Lisa Veras

English

There are days in a young boy's life when everything changes. For Huxley Doyle that day came on a Wednesday. That was the day he first encountered Tim Hortons buffalo crunch doughnut and questioned everything. "Why would a loving god allow such a thing?!?" he screamed at the sky.

“Mayonnaise was never meant to burble from a doughnut hole.” 

But Huxley Doyle’s complaints were answered only by a gentle breeze, and the sweet smell of a magnolia tree whose flowers had opened that morning. When Huxley’s mother announced the family would be moving to Toronto,

they all knew that mayonnaise was always going to be on the menu. One couldn't eat anything in Toronto without "a dollop of the white". Even orange slices & sour gummi worms came with mayo. Huxley wanted to fit in with his classmates, so he started every day with mayo in his tea.

The strangest part of life in Toronto was the stream of tourists from Minnesota desperate to buy mayo. It was such a strange thing to become illegal in the U.S., eh?

We'd sell it in 5 gallon buckets for $50 a pop. The US government wasn't too pleased with us though.

Suddenly the door bursts open knocking the nearest barrel over. Illicit turkey refuse spills everywhere. A cop grips my collar before I can escape. Next thing I know I’m standing trial for trafficking in bird waste, outed as a “fowl mouth.” I live the rest of my life in shame.

Of Morals & Mayonnaise

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"Captain, there is something on the long range sensors you should see." Ensign Butterbrickle reported. Captain Bort Jombloski leered at the Ensign. Oh, how he hated him. His golden hair, straight teeth, symmetrical face, could he be more perfect? "Show me." Jombloski growled.

“It’s moving very quickly directly at us, captain. It is accelerating. It is the size of Amsterdam. It is shaped roughly like a banana. It will reach us in 23 minutes. It is broadcasting an Enya song over all audible frequencies.”

At that moment, everyone in the whole world heard Enya's "Orinoco Flow" over their speakers & headphones. The plucky "Sail away..." refrain wormed its way into everyone's mind. For the first time in human history, everyone was thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time.

As bewildered people around the world suddenly turned off their devices or threw headphones to the ground, they realized the song was still playing…in their ears. Animals scratched at their ears. A Boeing 737 descended at a too sharp angle as tower communication was lost.

The angels and birds and the insects wondered as they all lost the sense of their own wings in a single second. All flapping stopped. They could look behind, but it wouldn’t matter. Instead they all looked down as they fell.

The scientist looked down their clipboard glibly, oblivious to the subjective experience of a multitude of tiny beings suddenly robbed of flight, facing death. “It’s time to meet with investors,” the scientist said, addressing their nontechnical colleagues. “The device is ready.”

Log 42: The Ouroboros Effect

Zoe Becker

Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

Why did she sit in the booth with what looked like an omelet and hot coffee, but with her eyes closed? And why was she now staring at Jerry?

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

All of Jerry’s worries melted away as he realized everything in his life had led him to this moment.

Rachel Drew
@racheldrew

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