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Phil Harwell

Chris Baroody

Jay Knowles

Sean King

Benjamin Chandler

Jacob Sherman

Pennywise  

Jack Hollowell

Sam Becker

English

Joe puts a pizza into the oven, and he has a gun (I don't know why). It was this really cool gun that could shoot five hundred rounds with only a few! Truly a technological marvel to be wielded, and by such a simple man! We mortals can only imagine the kind of power he possesses!

This simple man had a simple plan: to rid the city of its biggest threat: the dreaded cyber zombies! They came from the server rooms at Gorgle, and spread to the fields of Mikerosoft, and beyond! They’re unstoppable! What hope do we have? Only the simple man can save us! Oh noes!

Simple man’s next move was to recruit. But how? Online would be risky; Cyzombs were good with computers. Luckily, SM wasn’t. Instead he knew a blackmarket Office Depot, and blanketed the city with flyers. When the reptilian masterminds saw, fear took them - they knew the prophecy

that they will be taken down by Legion, by Anonymous, who does not forgive, who does not forget. The flyers read, “The tyrannical tyrannosaurus shall fall, once and for all.” They knew the poster was referring to the Illuminati elite, and shook in fear. The Age of Man has dawned.

Patty looked across the table at her cousin Philip. They both stifled a laugh. Aunt Connie, who they called “Connie-spiracy” was at it again. Patty wondered how she’d react to the new 5G tower being built across the street.

They wouldn't have to wait long to find out. After Aunt Connie finished her mimosa, she started spouting her latest theory. "You know why it's called 5G, don't you? G is for George, as in Soros, & 5 is for 5, as in Johnny 5 from 'Short Circuit'—a war robot! The new tower will

usher in the age of robots. Well, 1/2 robot, 1/2 patriots. The endgame. There will be nothing left— just socialist zombie robot men and pizza shop dungeons. You mark my—“ A single shot rang out from a laser gun. A neat pile of dust and a copper bracelet sat where Connie had been.

“Well, well, well, Connie!” a figure stepped out from the dust, “You’ve just been cremated — by the Crematinator! Best grab an urn, because that’s gotta burn!” An audible gasp came out. Isn’t that… “Doofus Schmidt!” “Please, call me… Doctor!” “Well you did poorly — for a doctor!”

The laughing track played and I moved to commit the next action, but pounding came to the door. I pushed up my Oculus VR, my heart pummeling my chest. My legs are numb. Like in the cyber-zombies chapter, the pounding happens again, so loud this time that the door might bust down.

“Your pizza is here!!” A voice was heard from the outside, but I didnt order a pizza. That made me suspicious, so instead of opening the door I ran upstairs to look for a weapon. Something strange was happening and I needed to be ready to defend myself.

My weapon, a fake katana stolen from my brother's bedroom wall, was grasped unsteadily in my shaking hands. "I didn't order a pizza!" I yelled through the door. No reply. I held the blade across my body like I had seen on my brother's Kill Bill poster and tried to catch my breath

A shadowy figure burst through the door and took a giant throwing star out of their pizza box and hurled it at me. With the patience and precision of a samurai, I sliced the star in two. My assailant ran away in terror. The “fake” katana was real all along. I knelt in reverence.

Joey Pepperoni and The Conspiracy of Pizza Ninjas

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Rachel A

Myke Vision

Rietje Becker

The crater trembled and six magnificent wings unfurled, each extending higher than the tallest tree in the forest. Above their rising head—a halo—shimmering like a shooting star. As the light dimmed, the celestial light became impossible to distinguish from that of the moonlight.

“Be not afraid,” the six-winged creature of legend called out, “For it is I, a messenger of the Lord.” A man trembled at the fear-inducing sight, and collapsed before it. “What will you have me do?” the man stammered. “Go now, and spread the Word. The Lord hath returned.” He then

totally screwed up. He thought the messenger meant Lorde, the New Zealand singer. He printed posters that read "ROYALTY COMES!" & posted them all over town. He thought the words were a clever allusion to her stage name & 1st single. There was only one thing he did not anticipate.

That was how insanely catchy her song Solar Power is. It just builds up and up then ends leaving you wanting more. This song about the beach has ended marriages and toppled governments, all part of Lorde’s plan.

As it played in my earbuds, my heart lifted at the silence before the final chorus. My hands tightened around the splintered axe handle. I spun to the beat. Red on the walls. Red dripping down my cheek. Pure bliss. I love Lorde, she’s my idol. But screams reigned in on the music.

I had perfectly and intentionally matched the shade of my blush to the wallpaper of the axe throwing silent nightclub, and the harder I danced, the more it coagulated inside the droplets of sweat falling from my brow.

I knew I was playing a dangerous game, but I also knew that the prize was worth it, for the first time in my life, I was going to hit it big, I knew it so much I could taste it

Most people say that roulette is the end of the line for gamblers, the last resort for desperate losers. Whatever. I closed my eyes and pressed the Return key on my Macbook. And that was it. 450 dollars charged to my mother's credit card on Black 14. Whirr went the animated wheel

then my computer froze. The rainbow ball spinning as my nerves twisted into an anxiety-filled pretzel. Did it go through? Is this really the way I want to spend my mother’s hard earned bingo winnings? Then I heard the door open “Honey?? Ya home? I brought ya dinnah.”

"Carl," I called to my dumb yet understanding ex-husband. "I have something to confess: I bet my mother's life savings in an online auction of an original oil painting of two yaks mating. It will mask my trauma." Carl looked down at his rotisserie chicken. "Ok my dear."

Heavenly Intervention Fiasco

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Lukáš Hroník

Kryštof Chmel

Kim Anh Vu

A crossroads. The man thought long and hard before turning left. He counted his steps as he went, as though counting would slow down his inevitable and unwanted arrival at the hospital.

Deep down in his mind, he is fully aware of his sickness and the emergency ringing that he has to go to the hospital to cure himself. But in his heart, he knows that right the moment he steps into the hospital, he will no longer be the breadwinner in his family.

So he decided to stay home, he wanted to be respected by his family. His condition was manageable at the moment but it was slowly getting worse.

He didn't want to stay home. He lived in a very small house. At least he heard birds chirping outside of his window. He was mad that his condition affected his life. He wanted to change his life, and future and get rid of his condition. Sadly he didn't know how.

He did not stay at home later, he went outside and enjoyed the world more, but the troubles he had we still there and they did not walk away. His condition got better, but walking outside was the only thing he could do. But still, he believed that to will get better... and

he knew that staying positive was the only way to improve his health. The man looked deeply into his own soul and what he saw shocked him. He had the power. He was the one who could cure his disease. Now he just needed one more thing: A reason to keep fighting. The end.

The Impassioned Man

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Zoe Becker

Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

Jerry wasn't sure if this woman was the woman in the photograph because her face was obscured by the newspaper she held. He took another bite of his BLT and felt the crust of the bread scrape the roof of his mouth in a well-known and terrible way.

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

The creature cut off the woman's head and then disappeared just as it had arrived, in a blinding flash of light. The restaurant erupted in screams of horror as blood shot from the decapitated corpse, which moments before was engaged in sipping it's coffee.

Jack Hollowell
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