Corvette Corvette

Amy Nielsen

GM Sanchez

D Dededo

Sean King

Mandy M

Yuki Asahina

Jon Smith

English

“I suspected this,” muttered he, gripping the steering wheel, his knuckles whitening and his mind becoming more troubled with each passing moment of this infuriating scenery.

Ahead of him on the highway a jack-knifed semi spilled tons of toilet paper and paper towel rolls. Idiot drivers abandoned their vehicles to pack them with the loot. He beeped and cursed but no one cared. He’d be late—no doubt and Don would be pissed.

Fortunately, he wasn't the only one; the drivers behind him were expressing similar frustration, beeping like crazy! Three police cars went to the idiot drivers. "Excuse me, people, you shouldn't be blocking the road" said a policeman. But an idiot driver just blew a raspberry.

They started mocking the police officers and one of them insisted on spin his car in circles. "Excuse me, officer, you shouldn't be, prfff! Prrff!" said the most idiot driver. "You must be the king of the idiots as you are wearing a burger king's crown"

The cop felt his temperature rising along with his anger. But he remembered his conflict resolution training. He proposed, “How about we settle this like gentlemen: with a game of chess?”

A smile crept on his adversary's lips, “My favorite.” With the chess board set up, the cop made the first move. The “gentleman” picked up the knight piece and sat there. Minutes passed and the cops anger rose. Then his adversary threw the piece at his eye, laughing, “I win!”

The cop, stunned and enraged, could only watch as the “gentleman” sauntered away, leaving the board—and the game—scattered. “Victory tastes sweet,” the adversary taunted, “but in this world, it’s only a game if you’re still playing.”

Everyone loves people

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li vella

Benjamin Chandler

Minh Duc Nguyen

Today I woke up feeling extremely out of it, I drank too much the night before. This was the start of my first AND LAST hangover.

I mixed up my favorite hangover cure of bone broth and tomato juice. As I drank it down, I reviewed what I remembered of the night before. I had made a mighty jackass of myself, once again. I knew beyond any doubt that I had to stop drinking alcohol.

My phone buzzed. The image and number that flashed across my screen forced me to reach for the bottle of vodka and pour in a couple of shots. I wouldn’t be stopping drinking anytime soon.

Why the hell was he calling me? We were DONE. He was an abusive, emotional wreck. Remembering that, I poured another shot. Then I heard familiar foot steps.

"I thought you were aiming for the Good List this year?" I turned. "Sorry, Santa," I said, cherishing the booze's burn, "I thought he was the one." Santa cracked his knuckles. "Want me to take care of him?" he said. I hugged him & said, "Only if I get to add a sucker punch or 2."

Deck the Halls with Booze and Ennui!

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Zoe Becker

Jerry glanced down at the photograph in his hand, then back up again at the woman sitting alone at the back of the cafe.

“Where did you get this?”

“First you tell me who it is and then I’ll tell you where it came from.”

All at once a blinding light coursed through the space. Jerry and the woman froze. And then a creature appeared, seemingly from the air itself.

He rubbed the photograph. Tears welled. “It’s my parents. This was their wedding day. I thought I lost it.”

Amy Nielsen
@amynielsen

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